"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead." -Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
She grew up in the 50’s. A young black girl raised in the south. This period of time was already difficult to deal with due to her race and no person should have to be confronted with that ever. But it gets worse for her. She was attracted to women, and a believer in God. Torn by this she did not know where to turn. She feared for years the repercussions that she’d face the day she would come out and how her family would react. How her friends would treat her. What would her church think? What would her pastor think? She covered it up as many do for years. Going out and dating boys to conceal her sexual preference. Then the day came when she had a tale of two fates. Her long-term boyfriend was pressuring her to have sex with her. She did not want to speak with her parents about the boyfriends desires for fear of what would happen and how they would look upon the boy. So she turned to her pastor in hopes he would be able to give her wise advice with a more understanding nature. She was ready and in need of help. She sat down with him and began to open up the inner conflict she had been dealing with while dating this boy for the past year. He listened as many pastors do. He at first did not fully understand her conflict because she began by just telling him how the boy wants to have sex. Though this may be wrong, it is typically normal for boys at that age, well at any age I suppose. He at first praised her for resisting this temptation. Then he found out why she resisted. It was not because she did not want to have sex, but it was because she liked women. This put a whole new twist on the conversation and how he thought he could advise her. Being any man in the role he was, he first reassured her that this problem could be beaten. That this demon inside was evil and he knew exactly what to do. So they together prayed, and then opened the bible to that famous passage, Leviticus 18:22. You know it. It is the one that says ‘Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.’ Then they prayed together some more. Now I am a firm believer in prayer, inward reflection, meditation…all that. I am also a huge believer in knowing that prayer alone without action is dead…useless…so what action did this pastor advise her to take next? He told her that what he has learned from the past to break this demon was for her to have sex with a man which would help reinforce the fact that it is good. That would somehow convince her that sex with women was wrong. To make it even worse, he said to not have sex with her boyfriend she was dating but rather suggested she have sex with him right then and there. She was shocked. She immediately got up from her chair in disbelief to leave the room and at that very moment the pastor grabbed her and attempted to force himself on to her. The deacons heard the scuffle going on and came running. By the time they got into the room it had already been trashed from the fury of resistance. The story was not believable to the deacons and because it is easier to remove a member of the church than the pastor, you can guess who stayed. I heard this story yesterday on NPR and was horrified. This is only a small recap and have not been able to find it online. It is no wonder people are afraid of Christians when leaders do horrendous things to the very people asking for help. Anyways, I thought I would share this story. We all have our battles and when someone comes to you in hopes to gain insight and help, the first thing we need to do is comfort and love them. The last thing they need to do is be abused mentally or physically. Being made feel worse for what they already feel bad about does no good to anyone. They are coming to you for help and that is usually after they already beat themselves up enough. Who are we to make anyone feel worse unless of course their actions have some sort of intrinsic value to your relationship or effect on your life. But even then, do your best to love and show grace. I am working on that myself. It can be hard when others lives impact yours. Be swift to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
"An Honor Is Not Diminished For Being Shared." Lois McMaster Bujold, "Shards of Honor" 1986
I am humbled to have an uncle who knows just about every cool person in the entire world. I was privileged this morning by waking up to this email from Leo to my uncle and thought on this day of honoring those who served, it would be fitting to honor the POW and Medal of Honor recipient Mr. Leo Thorsness for what he did. Not many people in this world served our country, and only an extremely small amount of those went through what he did. I just wish to share his words, not mine. Oh and if you have not read his book "Surviving Hell" please do! The link is here. http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Hell-Journey-Leo-Thorsness/dp/159403236X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243279769&sr=8-1 You will find it...well...enlightening...and now you will be able to have an educated conversation versus just an opinionated one.
Think Memorial Day and veterans usually come to mind. Think Veterans and our national debate about torture comes to mind. Of the 350 “old timer” Vietnam POWs, the majority were severely tortured by the North Vietnamese. Ironically the Department of Defense did not formally study torture after the POWs were released in 1973. We provided our military an actual “torture database library” but to this day, the Pentagon has never tapped the resource to help clarify national debate about “what is torture.” 1 I and many other Vietnam POWs were tortured severely – some were tortured to death. Several POWs wrote books after our release in 1973 describing the torture in detail. Mike McGrath’s book had extensive drawings vividly depicting types of torture the North Vietnamese used. When I wrote “Surviving Hell” in 2008, initially I did not include torture knowing that others had earlier described it. My book editors encouraged me to add it; if our younger population reads only current books, they may perceive that the treatment at Abu Grab and Gitmo was real torture. I added my experience being tortured so that readers will know that there is abuse and humiliation, and there is torture. If someone surveyed the surviving Vietnam POWs, we would likely not agree on one definition of torture. In fact, we wouldn’t agree if “waterboarding” is torture. For example, John McCain, Bud Day and I were recently together. Bud is one of the toughest and most tortured Vietnam POWs. John thinks waterboarding is torture; Bud and I believe it is harsh treatment, but not torture. Other POWs would have varying opinions. I don’t claim to be right; we just disagree. But as someone who has been severely tortured over an extended time, my first hand view on torture is this: Torture, when used by an expert, can produce useful, truthful information. I base that on my experience. I believe that during torture, there is a narrow “window of truth” as pain (often multiple kinds) is increased. Beyond that point, if torture increases, the person breaks, or dies if he continues to resist. Everyone has a different physical and mental threshold of pain that he can tolerate. If the interrogator is well trained he can identify when that point is reached – the point when if slightly more pain is inflicted, a person no longer can “hold out,” just giving (following the Geneva Convention) name, rank, serial number and date of birth. At that precise point, a very narrow torture “window of truth” exists. At that moment a person may give useful or truthful information to stop the pain. As slightly more pain is applied, the person “loses it” and will say anything he thinks will stop the torture – any lie, any story, and any random words or sounds This torture “window of truth” is theory to some. Having been there, it is fact to me. While in torture I had the sickening feeling deep within my soul that maybe I would tell the truth as that horrendous pain increased. It is unpleasant, but I can still dredge up the memory of that window of truth feeling as the pain level intensified. Our world is not completely good or evil. To publicly proclaim we will never use any form of enhanced interrogations causes our friends to think we are naïve and eases our enemies’ recruitment of radical terrorists to plot attacks on innocent kids, men and women – or any infidel. If I were to catch a “mad bomber” running away from an explosive I would not hesitate a second to use “enhanced interrogation,” including water bordering, if it would save lives of innocent people. Our naïveté does not impress radical terrorists like those who slit the throat of Daniel Pearl in 2002 simply because he was Jewish, and broadcast the sight and sound of his dying gurgling. Publicizing our enhanced interrogation techniques only emboldens those who will hurt us. 1. Kepler Space University is beginning a study of Vietnam POW Torture, headed by Professor (PhD) Robert Krone, Col, USAF, (ret).
Bob Dylan said, "I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom." Day after day, hour after hour, my hero is spending her time saving lives in a hospital. Not just any hospital, but one that is frequented by the sounds of sirens due to incoming threats from mortars, rocket propelled grenades and all sorts of attacks. The sirens cause interruptions to the intense and already stressful environment where lives are on the verge of death and every single second counts. She is not just saving any life either, but the lives of our troops who are sacrificing everything so honorably for the betterment of others. My good friend is a Captain in the United States Air Force working tirelessly as an Intensive Care Unit Nurse at the Air Base Hospital in Balad, Iraq. She is assigned to the 332nd Air Expeditionary Wing made famous by the Tuskegee Airmen. The troops that my hero is serving are both American and Coalition forces to include Iraqi troops who have been wounded by many different means. Their injuries range from close range gunshots to burn victims with missing limbs from Improvised Explosive Devices.Six months of her life will pass performing this incredibly tedious but honorable duty when all is said and done. So much of her life has been placed on hold in the meantime. But knowing lives are at stake, she was humbled to go and bring her gifted touch of calmness to those in traumatic times. She found peace in God’s omnipresence to guide her through this period and she has hope that His grace transpires vicariously through her.It is simple to meet my hero and be captivated by her smile and gracefulness. She not only lives but truly personifies a life of humility. Like any other hero, I am sure she considers it a normal duty that anyone in her position would do. I am not sure of the number of lives she will have touched in the end, but I am sure she will not seek one single bit of recognition for it, and that in itself is the reason why I consider her my hero. With that, I will end this with the words of Will Rogers who said it best. “We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.” I am so glad to have such a wonderful hero and I look forward to applauding her job well done when she returns.
“I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.” E.B. White (1899-1985)
“In all things of Nature there is something of the marvelous.” Aristotle (384BC-322BC)
After 8 months of anticipation I had the wonderful pleasure last evening of watching the film entitled “Earth” by Disney Nature in celebration of Earth Day. And, it was as perfect as I had imagined. Oh! I am also excited to have a tree planted in my honor because of my ticket purchase. Some critics have been labeling it a kids’ movie but I wholeheartedly disagree. I must admit that although it is being labeled such, many of the same critics rarely show this much enthusiasm for a “kids’ movie”. Here is a quote from one of the harshest movie critics of all time- the L.A Times- "It shouldn't be missed. What it does well is so remarkable that by the time the credits roll you likely won't want it to end." Some didn’t like James Earl Jones’s narration. Some of it was a little, ummm, unexpected and perhaps corny, but J. Earl Jones is one of my favorite guys alive today, so I enjoyed his narration very much. I also read some people mentioning that Global Warming is an undertone theme or drive behind this movie but being a somewhat skeptic (emphasis on somewhat) of Global Warming and its causes, I did not find that in there at all. If you go looking for it, you will seek it just as anything you are searching for to fit and shape your already deeply engrained opinion. Even though Earth’s temperature rising is mentioned, it does not even acknowledge that the human race exists one single bit or the causes of the warming, not even a suggestive reason. It was incredible to see our wonderful and incredibly vibrant planet on such a grand scale in the theatre. Species of beings I never knew existed and their uniqueness was completely captivating. We lose touch with our world and ourselves when we don’t take notice of all the life around us. That concrete jungle previously mentioned. I am so grateful to have people with such talent and vision in the world to create pieces like this that inspire all of us to live, not just be. Walt’s vision 65 years ago with True-Life Adventure Films have come so far and this only makes me a thousand times more excited about visiting Disney World once again next month. (yes Christy, Disney World is better than Disney Land, just as Florida is better than California). As a brief side note, it appears this Earth Day film release will be an annual occurrence. Next year Disney Nature will release a film entitled “Ocean” and it looks just as incredible!!! I can’t wait, I hope you can make it. You can view the trailer herehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G06r7eKKjkI or google Disney Nature Ocean. What a wonderful world. Enjoy it and take care of it!
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, commited citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." Margaret Mead (1901-1978)
"God creates men, but they choose each other." Niccolo Machiavelli(1469-1527)
The Kingdom of God isn’t a far away place on a cloud. It is in the here and now. It’s in the hug of a friend. It’s in the tears I have cried on the way to work listening to a teaching. It’s in a well in Burundi where water was once not readily available. It’s everywhere that can be touched by people who are forever changed by an encounter with the creator of the universe. The love of God is a celebration of discovery far more ancient that can’t be numbered in years. It’s a celebration of finding home. Of finding what it is like to be wanted and affirmed. Of finding faith that becomes tangible. Of finding faith when and where life is difficult. Of finding faith when there is nothing else left to tell. There are seasons where we are very tempted to allow our hearts to harden. Be encouraged and open to the healing process Jesus leads us through. Sometimes as you are moving out of the dull, cold, grey life, it takes something to pull you out of the old ways of thinking, feeling and acting. I just want to say thank you to all of my friends who have been a window to the outside for me. It is so refreshing for me to remind myself that church is doing life with people and sticking with them through whatever they are going through. Church is sharing a great meal with friends. Church is asking for support when you need it. With all the love I can muster from the deepest part of my gut, thank you for being a church with me.
"Never to suffer would never to have been blessed." Edgar Allen Poe (1809-1849) "Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it." Hellen Keller (1880-1968) "Whenever evil befalls us, we ought to ask ourselves, after the first suffering, how we can turn it into good. So shall we take occasion, from one bitter root, to raise perhaps many flowers." Leigh Hunt (1784-1859)
Up without down. Love without despair. Fast without slow. Success without perseverance. It is a measure of perspective. One without the other and their significance will cease. Yes, they are somewhat cliché. One we don’t typically enjoy thinking about is having joy without suffering. I remember when I was younger on some hot nights growing up in Tampa Bay I would put the even hotter cover over my head for a long period of time. After 15 minutes or so it would begin to become pretty difficult to breath due to the heat. It is funny looking back on it now, but when I decided to pull the cover off of my head that first breath of fresh, cool air was so refreshing. If I never placed myself in the heat I would have continued to not appreciate the blessing of cool, fresh air. Did you ever watch a movie or go on a ride that simulated going underwater and you instinctively held your breath to test yourself or make it a more fun experience? Why? We have to go through difficulties sometimes to reflect and appreciate the already occurring blessings. Your outlook on pain and suffering will either strengthen or break you. I am currently going through physical therapy on my left wrist. I have to tell you, it sucks. It is very painful. But I welcome it wholeheartedly because I know this will help me get the flexibility back. Otherwise I would have a pretty much useless wrist. My point is, life is not sustained without an occasional or sometimes unwanted and lengthy hardship. We so often walk through life without noticing the most minute blessings. You have to be reminded so often to slow down and smell the roses. Why do you not always notice them? That one flower growing in the grass.
This picture displays a flower that captured my imagination. But would I have noticed this one flower if it were growing in the grass? I really doubt it. Here it sits with the weight of the world on top of it. Literally. People walk on top of this flower every day on the sidewalk heading to work so often trying to suppress it and keep it down. Somehow, with the grace of God it has bloomed amongst a concrete jungle. This flower could have sprouted in the field of grass to be like all the other flowers never to be noticed. But this flower did not have that fate. It was placed in the hardship and now it becomes a wonderful blessing through realization that joy and suffering bring the essence of life. Do you feel blessed? Put your life in perspective to others...
Matthew 18:1 About that time the disciples came to Jesus, and asked Him. Which of us is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?
Aren’t these nice boys? I always feel good when you really read the bible in a non-prejudicial way. These guys are as common as dirt. Now Jesus is divine, but these guys are just like you and me. They need a lot of work.
"Who of us is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven? And Jesus called a small child out over to Him and put the child among them and then He said, “That I assure you unless you turn from your sin and become like little children you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.”
A Buddhist monk who taught a Chinese Philosophy course at the University of Pennsylvania once said, “You Christians teach your children to pray wrong. You teach them to pray, if I should die before I wake. It would be much better if you taught them to pray, if I should wake before I die.” What a great thought. There are a lot of people 45 years old still asleep. Their heart is pumping blood but they are not awake. The monk went on to point out most of the people who he knew were half awake when they should be asleep, but even worse when they were asleep they were half awake. No body seems to be totally alive. Nobody seems to be turned on by what was going on around them in life. How long have you lived? I don’t mean how long have your lungs been taking in air, but seriously lived? There are some folks that may say you’ve lived an hour. Maybe 5 minutes and for some they haven’t lived at all. For most people life is the meaningless passage of time between all too few moments when they are genuinely alive. Now that’s a sad commentary because most of us don’t live life like we should. We let it slip away from us. We don’t mean to, but our attitude is procrastination. "You know some day I am gonna get it committed." Someday I am gonna sharpen up, or lose weight or be a better father…and you never live today. In James he says,"Life is like a vapor, and whooooph it’s gone"leaving you to wonder what happened.All of us need to ask ourselves whether or not we lived life. And the only people I see living life with any kind of joyful spontaneity and passion are little children. That’s why Jesus said unless you become like a little child you will in no way enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus is focusing on the characteristics of a child. You know their intensity. They cry with agony like you are gonna kill ‘em. They also laugh and scream with joy and delight too. Kids re not intimidated by anything; they are turned on to what life is all about. So Jesus said unless you change to become like little children you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. In other words, unless you can approach life with their kind of passion and enthusiasm you can’t be a part of what I am about. What was it Jesus saw in children he wants us to know? Let me give you 3 things. 1.Children have no doubts about their real importance, their self worth or value. I think Jesus saw kids who had no doubt about their self esteem. And people who are worried all the time about their self image, their self worth or value usually go through life being overly concerned with themselves. Self conscious, self centered, selfish and all the other S words you can think of. One day during a thunder storm lightning was flashing; thunder was roaring and this father went to check on his 5 year daughter in the house. He found his little girl standing on the window seal leaning spread eagle with her face planted against the glass. The daddy said, “What are you doing?!” she replied, “Daddy, I think God’s trying to my picture!” Here’s a little girl who knows who she is and she knows her value and she knows her worth. If you are gonna live life fully, I don’t care who you are, you’ve got to feel pretty good about yourself. I’m not talking about cocky pretentiousness. But I am talking about a feeling of self-esteem . Jesus said, “Love others as you love yourself.” For some people that I know I hope they don’t love anybody because they are dangerous. They hate themselves. They don’t like themselves. Unfortunately most people are down on themselves. That’s one of the reasons Jesus came. He came into the world to do something that would enable you and me to feel differently about ourselves. Most people can name everything in their lives that’s wrong. They beat themselves up and say there is so much wrong with me. Well of course there is a lot wrong with you and a lot wrong with me too. But here is the good news of the Gospel; Jesus came into the world not only to die for our sin, but to absorb everything that is dirty and ugly and negative about us and to free us from it. Jesus does not only cleanse you from the dark side of your nature and character and personality but also removes those things that ought not to be there. He will impute to you His own righteousness so that you are the righteousness of God. Now you think about that for a minute. The average believers do not think of themselves as the righteousness of God. But wow, that is a heavy thought. You know when I get to Heaven I am gonna tell the angels to get outta my way. Scripture says they are only messengers for us. “Ariel, you over there, go get me one of those hamburgers from Chesters loaded all the way with barbeque sauce”…wow those hickory burgers are good. And I am going to go before the seat of Christ and I am gonna look at God and just stand there. I’m not going to say one word and I won’t have to because Jesus will be seated at the right hand of the Father and He’ll say, “Father, I want you to meet my friend Ian, the perfect one.” And I sure hope all my friends are there to hear that. Especially Amanda, who does not think I am perfect...little does she know. You say how can you say such a thing? Because the Bible says,"If you are a believer in Christ your sins have been blotted out. They are buried in the deepest sea as far as the east is from the west I will remember them no more."Jesus said“He will present you faultless before His Father, spotless and without blemish.”So everything you don’t like about yourself, get rid of it. I quote the man again,"Let me take it on myself and make it my own. He who knew sin became sin for us that we might be made the righteousness of God in Christ."He became what you are so you can become who He is. In the old covenant, I mean the old Hebrew men covenant, they would cut an animal in two, symbolic of Jesus shedding His blood for us. They did not shed their blood, but the blood of an innocent animal. They would also exchange coats or garments. That garment symbolized who you were. Your character, your nature, your personality. And you would say I am giving me to you. You would give me your coat and I would be saying I am giving who I am to you. So Jesus gives us what scripture says is a “robe of righteousness”. He takes my sin, everything negative about me, He who knew no sin becomes sin so I can become who He is. That’s a legal transaction by simple childlike faith. That means when the Father sees me, He doesn’t see me like you do with all my flaws. That’s good! That’s really good!!! I have to be aware of that and you have to be aware of that or it is easy for the enemy to trap you into guilt, shame, and condemnation. So everybody can name everything wrong. But you need to listen what Jesus will make right about you. God wants to give you His own nature. You go see a psychotherapist because you feel horrible. All you end up doing is dumping all your crap on to them. You leave feeling good but now they feel horrible. Jesus is the ultimate counselor. That is what He was called in the book of Isaiah, counselor. The ultimate psychotherapist takes on Himself everything that is negative, shameful, condemning and ugly about you and makes it His own. That means you can live life like a child with passion, intensely, and with great excitement without all the crap. 2. Children have a quality of spontaneous joy. Let’s put it this way all you Christian readers I have. KIDS ARE FUN! THEY LOVE LIFE AND ARE FUN TO BE WITH! Am I fun to be with?! What a great question to ask yourself today. Jesus did not screw you up. He did not make you unhappy; give you a bad haircut and a lousy marriage. You did that. He did not do it. Heck, I was fun to be with on my way to hell. Jesus did not mess that up. I’m still fun to be with. Every time I take a new person to church with me to Summit Christian Center, I usually get this comment. “Wow, I had fun at church, I did not know church could be like that.” And I always think, well, it was doing great when Jesus started it but we have kinda screwed the whole thing up and now its about how miserable you can look and unhappy you can be and how many things you cant do. No dancing? Are you serious? Now isn’t that a turn on. Maybe I would rather be a suicide bomber too if I had to live that way. But that’s not the way Jesus came to give us life, abundant, effervescent flowing life. So kids have spontaneous joy. A daddy took his young son to Disney World. As they were leaving the park the young son said, “Daddy I want another ride on Space Mountain.” The dad a little bit frustrated says, “Now look son, Im outta money and we are outta time.” The boy replied, “But Jesus wants me to go.” The daddy said, “What do you mean by that?” The little boy said, “Well a pastor in church said whatever we feel Jesus feels. He is touched with our emotion. When we cry, He cries. The pastor said Jesus feels every emotion we feel.” And daddy said, “Well, theologically that’s right but so what.” And the little boy said, “Well daddy, if He feels every emotion I have, then when I am laughing on Space Mountain He is having a good time too. So I think He would enjoy it if I had another ride on Space Mountain.” Not bad theology. True story. I got to witness the conversation a year ago. I kind of feel like that myself. We have a God who wants us to be freed from the burdens that keep us from enjoying life and living it passionately and intensely. He wants to fill us with an excitement and a childlike joy that enables us to live life with incredible spontaneous enthusiasm and joy. Question. Do you have that in your life? That’s what Christianity is about. It’s not mainly about Heaven. Heaven is for dead Christians. Now a few of you could qualify but most of us are still alive. I don’t want to go anytime soon. It’s just getting good. I love everyday of life and when 4 friends have suddenly died in the last few months you realize how short it really is. But I think about kids celebrating that kind of a life as well. God wants me to enjoy it. And I want to enjoy it. God wants you to enjoy it and have some fun and have a good time. Do you have that in your life? Jesus came to invade you in your life here; you don’t need it in Heaven. He wanted to create in you an excitement about life. That’s why you need to surrender that life to God. Not to make you miserable but to really kick you into gear to live with self worth and esteem, joy and celebration whether you are looking at a sunset on Hawaii or you are standing victoriously on Yosemite Falls. There is so much to be alive about and yet Christians seem to be the unhappiest people you have ever met. Go rent a jet ski or rent a Harley and go ride up in the Hill Country for a day. You say, “Well I might get hurt.” Well you better get hurt, it might get some excitement out of you. You can tell everybody when you come back wounded, “Well Billy, I fell off my Harley ridin’.” It would be great! Seriously though, have some fun. Have a little bit of stimulation in your life. Dr. G.K. Chester wrote, “I think God is the only child left in the universe. All the rest of us have grown old and cynical because of sin.”What a great line. You throw akid up in the air and bounce him off your knee and you know exactly what that child is gonna say. “Do it again!!! Do it again!!!” And you do it again, and they say, “Do it again!” And if you do it 50 times on the fiftieth time that kid is yelling hysterically, “DO IT AGAIN!” That’s the excitement of a little child. How did God create daisies? Just like a child. He created one daisy and the Bible says “Creation claps and shouted to do it again!” So He created daisy number 3 and daisy number 4 and fifty billion trillion daisies later the great God of the universe is still creating with childlike excitement while creation shouts and claps and says “DO IT AGAIN GOD! Do it again” Can some of you remember when you were a kid and full of life and dynamic and actually fun to be with? Now your life has grown dull and slow and boring? No wonder Jesus said, “Do you like this boring color? Do not adjust your television.” Ok, he did not say that. But that is why Jesus said look guys, why don’t you come to me. Why don’t you let me give you a new birth? A spiritual birth. Why don’t you become like a little child once again? Surrender to me, let me in your life. I am the resurrection and the life. I will take possession of you. I will change you, I will free you from guilt and shame at the same time give you a sense of dignity. Then you will be free from all that burden of negativism. I will fill you with my joy in life and excitement and love. You will know joy like you’ve never known it before. That is why the Gospel is called Good News…helloooooo…. 3. They have confidence in the future. I think there is a 3rd like quality that comes to everybody who is fully alive in the Lord and it’s absolute confidence in the future. All young children whether they are born in a ghetto by a wealthy single parent or live in an orphanage have this in common. That is until they are tampered with or until society beats them down through racism, prejudice and bigotry will respond positively to the question when you ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” No child will say I want to be in jail at 21 for pushing drugs and have 3 kids, unmarried and on welfare at 28!!! Nobody says that because that is not their dream. They say I want to be a doctor, a fireman, an astronaut or a policeman, a teacher. I want to be a pro NBA basketball player. The dreams are always noble and good and it is always a greater place than where that little child is for the moment. They see a great future until we beat it out of them with our own negativism and the ugly realism begins to set in as they get older. The Lamborghini posters come off of the wall to only be replaced by a more “realistic” Honda. Watch this clip from “Dangerous Minds”.
Ok, so how difficult is going to be for those 2 promising boys to break out of that cultural barrier? The parents don’t believe, momma doesn’t believe, the culture is pretty much against them. There is just a tiny ray of hope that’s faced every single day. Watch this next trailer from the movie October Sky. It is based in the West Virginia hills. The only escape from the mines was a football scholarship to a university. Beyond that not one person could see a better future than a job in the mine. This boy wanted to build rockets and go into space. Try and see the problem he has to overcome.
I could not find the clip I was hoping for but I did find a website that had the script of the scene where his dad discouraged him and his “hobby”…and if you want you can read it here. http://www.cswap.com/1999/October_Sky/cap/en/25fps/a/01_18 Basically his father wanted him to grow up and be like him in the mine and take his position. His daddy was too negative to see what his son was capable of. That young man by the way went on to get a scholarship to the university off of his rocket science project and as a result got into NASA and helped design and launch the first space shuttle. True Story. You can watch him talk about it here.
Thank God he was not discouraged enough to quit. He had a huge dream but his daddy could not see past the coal mine. Where would America be? Would God have intervened anyway? I am not God, but these are just things to ponder if you believe in destiny and purpose. So what’s your dream? If you have never done it, it is difficult for you to imagine something better. The only way God can pull you out of the position you are in is to give you a dream of something better. And don’t EVER step on the dreams of your children even if they frighten you. Even if you can’t see how you will pay for it, “We don’t have the money” or will she be getting out of the military to pursue her singing career, “you have a better chance of getting a record deal in the AF Band, will you have health insurance" or…blah blah blah. Don’t worry about that part of the dream. If what they want to pursue is noble and honorable and legal, you encourage the child to dream big and to go for it! Because most of these children just give up early because daddy or momma or the culture or racism puts them down and they say yea, what is the use? They give in and the world isn’t a better place but it could have been had they listened to the dream inside. Joseph wanted a better life than his brothers. His own dad did not believe in him. “Here comes the dreamer” is what they said about him. His brothers kidnapped him and wanted to kill him. Then they sold him into Egyptian slavery. He became a prisoner through false accusation. But the dream stayed alive in his heart until what God promised came true 17 years later. The dream. I am telling you if your parents never graduated from school, if they never owned a home, if they never owned a business, if they never went to higher education or could hold a job you can be the first one. Some of you are saying, “Well, I could never see myself in that position.” Then you probably won’t achieve that position. It is a vision, a dream that lets you see what your current reality isn’t. Genesis 13: Old man, I’m gonna make you father of many nations and I know I don’t have a whole lotta time to do it cause youre already 94. God says look north, look south, look east, look west. Genesis 13 folks. All the land you see, I will give it to you. Meaning if you can’t see it, you can’t have it. So what can you see? Can you see a better marriage, a better future, a better lifestyle or see yourself escaping from the bondage and addiction of drugs. Like that boy said, “Coal mining’s your life, it’s not mine. I am not against ya dad but it’s not my life. I want something bigger, I want something more challenging, and I want something better.” I would rather die and fail for something better than to just sit back and live complacent with what is. So the way God lifts you and changes the future in your life and makes life better for everybody is through a dream. And the good news of the Gospel is we have a Jesus who creates dreams and visions for us and who will empower us to fulfill them, no matter what the obstacles are. To paraphrase a proverb, when the young no longer dream dreams and the old no longer have visions, people perish. Children believe they can do something incredible. Children don’t think they are limited. Children believe they can become anything until parents beat it out of them or culture does. And I want to say Jesus can impart spontaneous joy, self worth and esteem and glorious visions of a future to children. Well He can impart to you too. And He can impart it to me. It doesn’t matter if you are young or old. God says just because you are old person doesn’t give you a right to drool and become grouchy, not to mention being judgmental to everybody else. God says I am going to give old men dreams and young men visions. So you should never stop seeing bigger and better things for the future just because you get old. It gets you out of bed and pushes when you don’t want to be pushed. Children have that. You can tell you are old when the memories of the past are more prevalent than your visions of the future. You’re like an old rock-n-roll singer who had a one hit special and now you’re singing in a Holiday Inn Bar on Tampa Bay’s Beach making $300 playing your 20 year old hit. That’s no life and that’s no future. I want to tell you about a God who gave Abraham a vision at 94. And you are never too old or too young to surrender to a God who will not only make you believe in yourself but believe the future can be better than the present. I personally think modern sociology, which I am studying right now for college is too oriented about the past. They say if you want to understand a person you have to understand where he has come from, you have to understand his background and what has happened to him. But when you study scripture what is more important than your past, and how you were treated or abused is your vision of the future. A person is more controlled by his vision of tomorrow than his hurt of yesterday. I will close with 2 thoughts.
How can you start dreaming big and never stop? 1. Believe God has a plan to do good things in your life. Jeremiah 29:11. "I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future." Not only do you have a future, God gives you a hope in that future. When you are worried about tomorrow and your situation ain't looking good for the moment, you stand on that word! Your situation may not look good but you stand on what God said. I have a good plan for your life. You claim that and say it in your prayer time for your children when your situation may not look good for that moment. So I believe I have a great future no matter what I am going through for the moment cause that is what God said. 2. Don’t let your circumstances stop you from dreaming. You are never too young or too old. Mozart wrote a symphony at age 6. Marjorie Gestring won Olympic Gold at age 13. Ray Kroc founded McDonalds at age 57. Colonel Harlan Sanders founded artery clogging, trans-fat overload Kentucky Fried Chicken at age 65. He has been into more countries than missionaries with KFC. That’s why as long as I live I want to keep dreaming. When I am an old man looking good and fit, I want to pass dreams to a younger generation. You are never too old. Never concentrate on the shortages of resources or money. There is no shortage of money in the world. What there is a shortage of is dreams and vision and courage to go after it. Dreams will attract resources. Dreams will attract people. It’s obvious I don’t want to attract some religious people if all they want to do is measure how long your dress is or how long your hair is or what you don’t do or where you don’t go, or what you believe about the Easter Bunny or when Jesus is gonna come back, or who the white horse of Revelation is, or once saved is always saved. If that’s your life, you aint gotta life. You certainly don’t have a future here. I have bigger fish to fry. That may be something to talk about over a cup of hot chocolate but I am not gonna build my life on those stupid little nit picky legalistic issues that divide people and only hurt feelings and don’t amount to squat. And when you get to Heaven, you are not going to be asked what you believed about the Easter Bunny. Stop it! Did you take your kids trick or treating, or what you believed about the white horse in Revelation. Some of you reading this are thinking I did not know there was a white horse in Revelation. I don’t know. It’s not going to matter! It is not a criteria for going to Heaven, that is just something you learn from watching too much Christian TV and you start loosing perspective about where life and where people are and what’s important to them. We live in a little Christian sub-culture and we lose touch of reality. Don’t concentrate on what there is a shortage of. Every time you take a big step of faith, it is very easy to focus on what you don’t have. Focus on what you do have. God will always bless you. Have every confidence in the God who can do anything but fail and will help you fulfill your dream. I am not basing that on nothing. You have a legacy to lean on. God can make a way when you have no way. Stop looking at your past failures, skin color, your race, I don’t have that SAT score or I don’t have blah blah blah…4 out of the top 10 fortune 500 companies are run by immigrants and they don’t even have college degrees. They came to this country with a dream believing it would come true. Don’t stop dreaming! Proverbs 16:3- Commit whatever you do to the Lord so shall your plans succeed. Humor me a second, say this out loud.“My dreams will have an impact on my life, my children, my future, and my destiny.”I promise you with every ounce in me, they do.
"Men are all heart and Women are all body. I don't know who has the brains. God maybe." John Updike (1932-2009)
The 2 time Pulitzer Prize winning author John Updike passed away today. The title of this blog happens to be a quote from his first prized book, Rabbit Is Rich, so please know I am not saying it to be cynical, I am just quoting him. He was from the hometown of my father, Reading, Pennsylvania. Yes, the Reading Railroad from monopoly was also located there. I don’t mean to be anal but it is really pronounced Redding, not reading like the verb. He was most famous for his Rabbit series and The Witches of Eastwick which also became a movie. This truly brilliant fiction writer also received one of the most prestigious sci-fi awards, the PEN/Faulkner Award. I have mentioned in previous posts that you aren’t anybody until The Simpsons make you a character on their show. Well, John also received that honor as well, playing a ghost writer for Krusty the clown. My favorite quote of his is,"Time passes in America and Asia; in Europe, history occurs"On the contrary sir, you will forever be in the history books as one of America’s most prized writers, and you will be missed.
"Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought." Albert Szent-Gyorgyi (1893-1986)
Well well well…so there is something unique about mosquitoes after all. Growing up in Florida I could not sit on the front porch of my house without having my body bombarded by those little rascals. Hearing that high pitch buzzing noise created turmoil knowing I was going to be itching hours after I was simply trying to have an enjoyable moment in the nice weather Florida so often blesses. It turns out that the high pitch noise produced by their wings serves a purpose more than just some side effect of their maintaining flight. According to a study by Cornell University Scientists have discovered mosquitoes produce pitches in order to mate. The study was published an article in the journal Science, Science 9 January 2009:Vol. 323. no. 5911, p. 279DOI: 10.1126/science.323.5911.279b To be honest, lots of animals and bugs sing or dance before mating but mosquitoes are different. They actually harmonize and sing perfect 5ths. The male sings a D and the female sings a G. When they sing together it will generate a harmonic pitch what is also known to us musicians as an overtone. Only when they hear the overtone created will they mate. If this does not occur…they won’t mate. So I feel bad for the tone deaf mosquitoes who don’t hear the pitch because they will never get to experience the joy of creating life. Like I said, many animals/bugs use sounds to mate but none are known to use pitch in the process. Hear is what it sounds like. Enjoy.
"Don't flatter yourself that friendship authorizes you to say disagreeable things to your intimates. The nearer you come into relation with a person, the more necessary tact and courtesy become. Except in cases of necessity, which are rare, leave your friend to learn unpleasant things from his enemies; they are ready enough to tell them." Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809 – 1894)
I lost a good friend or someone I thought was a good friend. She decided to dump a bunch of built up aggression on me again. I did not deserve it and now realized she was not such a good friend after all. I would never hesitate to do anything for my friends. This person in particular would get my attention and I would drop anything I was doing to be there no matter what. But she continued to choose to take all of her anger and frustration out on me because “She knew I would take it and still love her anyway” or so she says. Well, after the third time of unloading every bit of anger and saying some pretty hurtful things I have decided to step away and move on to better friends who are uplifting and see the inherent good nature in me. I know I have faults and am not perfect and I have still lots of life to experience and grow with, but nobody deserves to be treated so harshly as friends, leave that for my enemies. In the meantime I have made friends with a wonderful person and I am so thankful to have once again a person who I feel so free talking to. Someone I can talk for hours on end and not feel like I am running out of things to discuss…or just sit on the phone with in silence and not have that uncomfortable feeling. I am glad our paths have crossed. You have been such a wonderful addition in life. Your perspective is truly enlightening and I, like you, have been stretched to see things differently.
"Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better."
King Whitney Jr.
Wow how far we have come. First let me make my position clear. This is not a post or blog of racism nor politics. I voted for McCain. Am I upset that a man who served our country so honorably lost? A little. Am I wondering what lies beneath our future? Absolutely. I serve our country in the United States Air Force so my political views and opinions sum up to this, the vote is over, the choice is made, I will gladly serve the new Commander-in-Chief. So, change. Change We Need. Change was the theme for Obama and was a wise selection for his “motto”. This brings me to my history lesson on 400 years of change. Truth is what I am going to write about is actually a 400+ year progression from well before the founding of the United States. 400 years ago slavery was a way of life. There were other forms of forced labor known as indentured servants. If you owed a debt and did not pay your debt within the agreed upon time they would force you into manual labor. It was not slavery though. Once you worked off your debt, you are free. In slavery, you were property and never freed unless the owner signed off on your freedom. In the 16 and 1700’s communities took on the debt of birthing children. It was not cheap then either. You weren’t expected as a parent to do it alone. If a woman was single and birthed a child out of wedlock it was so frowned upon so much that she was forced into manual labor to repay her debt to the community. As time went on and more and more blacks were brought to the states, more laws came into effect preventing blacks from having sex with whites creating mulatto children. Black slave’s mulatto children inherited being enslaved as well. It became such a problem due to racism that they went to extreme measures to try and stop it from occurring. Legislation was written that if a mulatto child is born out of wedlock, then that child will be forced into labor for 30 years. Considering the fact that the life expectancy for a child not in slavery was 32-43 years, you are pretty much birthing a child in to slavery for his entire life just because you had sex with a white man or black man. Yes, it worked both ways. (Just to rule out the people who are upset about white men raping black women) White women had their share of fun too. So change we need? 300 years ago Barack Obama would have been forced into slave labor just because his black father had sex with a white woman. I say we have changed a bit. I am grateful for that. I just pray this position which is now going to be held by a black man will make people pull their pants up, stop the dropout rate from going higher and higher, and keep teen pregnancy down. Not to mention black on black crimes. That’s the change we need and I pray people find their hope and belief in knowing the highest office in the world has been achieved by a black man.
“One should, perform karma with nonchalance without expecting the benefits because sooner or later one shall definitely get the fruits.” -Rig Veda
So it has finally come to fruition. I get what I deserve. I fell in love only to be blindsided by dishonesty about something I am not sure if unfaithfulness came into play. I tried to do the right thing this time and be open, honest, and even cut people out of my past to protect and nurture my relationship for the future. It was the correct thing to do. Even though, I was only to be taken for granted. Now I am starting from scratch. I must go back to the drawing board to work on myself once again alone. I will not get too personal about what happened because it is between her and I so the public display of laundry would be an immature thing to do. All I can say was she was a sweet person and I will miss her. Such a shame because I felt so strongly for her. Somehow I knew this was going to happen. I entered the relationship hoping to get my karma behind me and over with. After I did so much damage to someone else I felt I would have this occur to me. I do have to say I knew I could never put myself through all that I put Angie through. I learned from my mistakes and knew when a habit would continue to occur and cut it off before I let it become one. So, I hope this makes you happy out there knowing it has come full circle. You get the last laugh. I had it coming to me. I know I cut you from my life, but if you still happen to read this blog like you used to from time to time to check in and see how I am, you deserve a bottle of wine to sit back and relish in this occurrence. My Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, I suppose.
Now I go on with my future. I have purchased my first rental property and I am excited to start building some wealth. It is not much but it is a start. I purchased the house as a foreclosure. It is worth $119,000 and I got it for $85,000. I should be closing within 20 days and already have some renters lined up. Hopefully one will work out. My intentions are to accumulate at least 50 houses and have them paid off. That would generate roughly $50,000/month in income or $600k per year. It is not a great fortune, not even really a small one but it will definitely help me retire. We shall see. I just have to find the drive to keep going. I need God right about now. So sad and disappointed. Tired too. Aw shucks.
I don't think necessity is the mother of invention-invention, in my opinion, arises directly from idleness, possibly also from laziness. To save oneself trouble.
-Agatha Christie (1890-1976)
4 years ago I dreamed of a day when the 4Runner would become hydrogen powered that emits only water. Well, today we are one step closer. Is it because people are tired of paying $4/gallon of gas? I am not so sure. Is it because people are becoming more environmental? I am not so sure about that either. Is it because people are tired of driving to gas stations and filling up every 4 days or so? Probably. But it sure will be nice filling up every other week and not having to smell all those fumes. Even though I have an addiction to unleaded fuel. The day will come when no emissions are common and those like me who wishes to own a muscle car will have to travel far ways to find a fueling station.
Honda rolls out fuel cell car Japanese automaker's hydrogen-powered FCX Clarity promises twice the efficiency of gas-electric hybrids.
TAKANEZAWA, Japan (AP) -- Honda's new zero-emission, hydrogen fuel cell car rolled off a Japanese production line Monday and is headed to southern California, where Hollywood is already abuzz over the latest splash in green motoring. The FCX Clarity, which runs on hydrogen and electricity, emits only water and none of the gases believed to induce global warming. It is also two times more energy efficient than a gas-electric hybrid and three times that of a standard gasoline-powered car, the company says. Honda expects to lease out a "few dozen" units this year and about 200 units within a year. In California, a three-year lease will run $600 a month, which includes maintenance and collision coverage. Among the first customers are actress Jamie Lee Curtis and filmmaker husband Christopher Guest, actress Laura Harris, film producer Ron Yerxa, as well as businessmen Jon Spallino and Jim Salomon. "It's so smooth," said Harris, who played villainness Marie Warner on the hit TV show "24." "It's like a future machine, but it's not." Harris, Spallino and Yerxa were flown to the ceremony, courtesy of Honda. Yerxa says he's excited to show off the car and believes there's "a lot of interest." The biggest obstacles standing in the way of wider adoption of fuel cell vehicles are cost and the dearth of hydrogen fuel stations. For the Clarity's release in California, Honda said it received 50,000 applications through its Web site but considered only buyers living near hydrogen fuel stations in Torrance, Santa Monica and Irvine. "This is indeed a historic day for both Honda and American Honda - a new chapter in our nearly fifty-year history in America," said John Mendel, a senior vice president at America Honda Motor Co. at a morning ceremony here. "It's an especially significant day for American Honda as we plant firm footsteps toward the mainstreaming of fuel cell cars." Initially, however, the Clarity will go only to a chosen few starting July and then launch in Japan this fall. Although Honda Motor Co. was the first Japanese automaker to launch a gas-electric hybrid vehicle in the U.S. in 1999, it has been outpaced by the dominance of Toyota's popular Prius. Toyota announced in May that it has sold more than 1 million Prius hybrids, while both the Honda Insight and the hybrid Accord have been discontinued due to poor sales. The FCX Clarity is part of Honda's plan to keep pace with rivals in green technology. It also plans to launch a gas-electric hybrid-only model, as well as hybrid versions of the Civic, the sporty CR-Z and Fit subcompact.
“Always remember, others may hate you, but those who hate do not win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.” Richard M. Nixon (1914-1994) "Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God." -Aeschylus
So it has been 40 years since the assassination of Martin Luther Kind Jr. Where would the world be if RFK and MLK were still with us? 2 of the best speakers I have ever heard, through YouTube of course since I am but 25 years old. Before his death he was in Memphis assisting with the Sanitation Strike. A true servant of people. Not a God, but a man who served one. 2 days before his death he gave a speech in support of the workers. He quoted this passage.
Luke 10:30-37 30In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. 35The next day he took out two silver coins[a] and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.' 36"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?" 37The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise." What a relevant scripture to show support of fellow men and women. It continues on with the Priest and Levite saying, "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But then the Good Samaritan came by. And he reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?" MLK uses this and says, “That’s the question for you tonight. Not, "If I stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to my job. Not, "If I stop to help the sanitation workers what will happen to all of the hours that I usually spend in my office every day and every week as a pastor?" The question is not, "If I stop to help this man in need, what will happen to me?" The question is, "If I do not stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to them?" That's the question.”
What a beautiful man. A man of love.
Now on to Bobby,
So Bobby was in Indianapolis when the assassination occurred. He gave this speech. Now, when the country found out about the assassination, riots broke out in almost every major city. Who can not think that after hearing this RFK speech, why people in that city did not, nobody knows? A man of true inspiration. So sad we never got to live through a presidency with him.
"So Much of What We Call Management Consists in Making It Difficult For People To Work."
Peter Drucker (1909-2005)
There is a dramatic change in the world with views on leadership. A certain paradyme if you will. Leadership in the industrial age or even further back to the agrarian age, leaders were viewed as the powerful. Those who "made it" must be smart or connected...or even kiss asses. Leaders viewed themselves as the ones who made decisions for the people and were in control. They told others their jobs and defined people without even knowing their capabilities. Well, this past decade there has been a dramatic shift in thought for the role of a leader. The leader is the servant. They are at the will of workers. And, they will have to learn this is they wish to be a good leader. This article below seems to share the views of many success based principles of the 21st century.
By Martha Beck from "O, The Oprah Magazine," January 2005.
Few things incite a frothing, wild-eyed rage like asking people to talk about bad bosses. People aren't just annoyed by poor leadership -- they sputter and snarl as they describe their superiors, lusting for the chance to hit that bad boss with a perfect, withering insult. Or perhaps a truck.
It's a little scary, then, to realize that we're all likely to occupy a leadership role, from motherhood to mogulhood, at some point in our lives. When we blow it, our imperfections will be magnified by our authority.
Leadership is simply too complex to do perfectly. I believe that the key to being a better boss lies in accepting that fact.
Ineffective leaders expect their role to be easy and think -- no matter what -- that they're doing the job just right. Although good leaders often begin with similar expectations, convinced they're natural-born chieftains, they soon run smack-dab into a little thing called Monday morning.
The best leaders let go of the fantasy and become fully present and responsive to the complexities of each new situation. They're the ones -- the few, the proud, the downright worshipped -- who earn their followers' respect.
To become one of them, you need to turn bad-boss behaviors on their head to find your way toward good-boss techniques.
Bad-boss self-concept: As a leader, I'll be a higher-up.
Good-boss self-concept: As a leader, I'll have to go lower down.
The bad-boss tales I've heard include many stories of managers demanding the undoable, responding to objections by simply reiterating that it had to be done. This creates nothing but hostility.
"If you want to govern the people, you must place yourself below them," said the philosopher Lao-tzu (who is my favorite management consultant, despite having been dead for centuries).
That doesn't mean you become a slave to your followers' whims. Great bosses acknowledge their own ignorance and ask questions of everyone to gain a better grasp of two important things: What's going on? What needs to be done?
Bad-boss target setting: Now that I'm the boss, I give orders to others.
Good-boss target setting: Now that I'm the boss, I bring order to what others do.
Many people thrill to giving orders or critiques but have unclear, uninformed or ambivalent ideas about what they're actually trying to accomplish -- that is, they know what they want this second, but the big picture is as fuzzy as a winter mink.
Leading well means forming a crystal clear image of what must happen and communicating that precisely. After giving an assignment, ask that person to describe the task in their own words. If they can't, or if the account they give doesn't match what you were trying to convey, you need to try a new tack. The first step could be as easy as clarifying your directives -- or you might have to rethink your organizational chart and who reports to whom.
Bad-boss position on feedback: Now everyone must tell me when I'm right.
Good-boss position on feedback: Now everyone must tell me when I'm wrong.
Most humans go through the world trying to elicit validation. Al Preble, a leadership consultant for Cambridge Leadership Group in Cambridge, Massachusetts, says this isn't the way to go. The most powerful way for leaders to communicate, he believes, is to use just three simple steps.
When a problem arises:
1. Clearly tell your subordinate what you really think.
2. Describe the facts that led you to this opinion.
3. Ask to be disconfirmed; in other words, honestly request that people tell you where you're wrong.
Bad-boss protection strategy: As a boss, I'll be protected from taking blame.
Good-boss protection strategy: As a boss, I'll protect others by taking blame.
The successful bosses I interviewed emphasized that a good leader helps her followers feel safe from the dangers that come from both inside and outside the organization.
An incompetent supervisor, on the other hand, feels that the best way to secure her position is to appear faultless, and works mightily to make clear who fouled up or even to lay blame on a scapegoat. But that behavior turns people into twitchy, record-keeping, blame-tallying masses of ectoplasm.
Bad-boss problem solving: Being the boss means I can avoid problems.
Good-boss problem solving: Being the boss means I must seek out problems.
You can tell if you're making mistakes as a leader because things go wrong -- not just one catastrophic computer snafu but repeated errors. Bad bosses turn away from these realities. They don't discuss problems; they just hunker down and hope the issue will go away. It won't. Untreated, a minor concern becomes a major issue becomes a catastrophe.
This is the core of good leadership, whether you're managing a corporation, your immediate family, or just your own life.
Lao-tzu puts it this way: "When [the Master] runs into a difficulty, she stops and gives herself to it. She doesn't cling to her own comfort; thus problems are no problem for her."
Embracing the fact that you'll encounter many obstacles -- and that this is all right -- allows you to understand, listen, give clear instructions, invite negative feedback, and protect those you lead. You'll be comfortable with leadership, even when it's uncomfortable. And that will make you an easy act to follow.
The enemy of great is good. The primary reason so few leaders or organizations ever become great is because they get good and then stop. They stop growing, learning, risking, and changing. They use their track record or prior successes as evidence that they've arrived. Believing their own headlines, the leaders in these successful organizations are ready to write it down, build the manual, and document the formula. This mentality shifts their business from a growth to a maintenance mindset.
Neither you nor your business ever "arrives." We never get to the place where there's nothing more to be done and nothing more to be said. In the words of my friend Dave Anderson, "Yesterday's peacock is tomorrow's feather duster." What you strutted yesterday; the next day is just cleaning dust off of shelves.
I like to distinguish between a "goal mindset" and a "growth mindset." A person with a "goal mindset" has very tangible, numerical goals to achieve over a specific period of time. Nothing is wrong with clearly defined goals, but there's a better way of thinking that I call a "growth mindset." A growth mindset recognizes goals on the journey, but only as part of a process—not as the end results.
When goal-oriented people hit a milestone, they have tendency to settle very quickly, but when growth-minded individuals hit a goal, they blow right on by because they're constantly learning and growing.
Success has a brutal side: It can make you arrogant, it can make you complacent, and it can close your mind. To survive the temptations of triumph, we must realize that success is not the point and should never be the ultimate objective of an enterprise. The goal of business is to strive to reach full potential. I define full potential as focusing on seeing how far you can go, how good you can get, and how many people you can bring with you. Reality dictates that you will most likely never reach your full potential, but the journey keeps you humble, hungry, and focused. What you become in the process helps you and your organization make the leap from good to great. Use your success as a stepping stone, not a pedestal.
Leaders of successful organizations are tempted to stop working on themselves. They continue to work hard on their job, but they have a tendency to neglect personal growth. They use their experience and track record as a license never to read another book and an excuse never to attend another developmental course in their field. They point to their acclaim and accomplishments and decide to rely on the skills they have learned in the past to run the rest of their career. They develop an arrogance of intelligence that creates a disabling ignorance. This ignorance disables them, their people, and, as a result, their business.
Growing people grow people. But when you don't grow, you plateau. It's just a matter of time. Once this happens, you plateau everyone working for you. When I as a leader go flat, my influence with everybody in my organization fizzles and fades. When the leader doesn't grow, the people don't grow. It's the Law of the Lid; a stagnant leader stunts the growth of the organization.
Let me give you four benefits of pursuing your potential, even during seasons of success. • We have higher self-esteem. People that are constantly learning and growing have a good self-image.
• We are willing to change and risk. One of the obvious evidences of growing people is that they are constantly changing and risking. Show me a person that doesn't change, that doesn't risk, and I'll show you a person that's not growing.
• Our passion increases. When we begin to grow personally, our passion for life and learning begins to increase proportionately.
• We lift the lid for others. What a leader does determines what everybody else is going to do. The people don't pass the leader. An organization's growth doesn't outpace the leader's progress. As I lift the lid for myself, I lift the lid for others.
One of the most amazing things to me is how much room there is at the top. On the other hand, it's jam-packed and crowded at the bottom. On the streets of average, there's traffic and congestion, but success has so few people on the roads. It's amazing how the higher you go, the less people there are. Three percent of the people in the United States have a library card. Six percent of Americans believe Elvis is still alive. Trust me, there's a lot of room at the top.
As a leader you should learn like you'll live forever and live like you'll die tomorrow. Either way, you're covered.
“The Framers of the Bill of Rights did not purport to "create" rights. Rather, they designed the Bill of Rights to prohibit our Government from infringing rights and liberties presumed to be preexisting.”
William J. Brennan, Jr. quotes
“Every man has a right to be wrong in his opinions. But no man has a right to be wrong in his facts.” Bernard M. Baruch
I am a strong supporter of owning firearms for home protection, personal concealment for public protection, and recreational use like hunting and tactical training etc. But, I am a devil’s advocate and love a good debate. So let’s review the facts. We must first start with the 2nd Amendment. It states
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Do not let people use it as it is commonly misused and out of context, “A right to bear arms”. It is not a right to bear arms just because I am a civilian in the U.S. It clearly states a well regulated militia for the security of a free state.
Now some of the controversy comes from people like me who try and dig into things a little deeper than necessary. What is written and approved by congress and the senate was not the same grammatical writing of what was dispersed to the states. I think this argument is total BS. But we will acknowledge it anyway.
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.
So, it is clear there is a difference in punctuation. What are the meanings and what is really supposed to be emphasized? Whether the word “people” is capitalized or not, you can’t argue that the first 4 words are not in the mix. And that is where I stand. Again, a well regulated militia. So what is a militia…well there are several changes to what it is over the last 230 years. State militia’s eventually evolved into the National Guard. There is a strong movement going on now to return back to militias regulated by civilians because the guard is beginning to be an army too controlled by the federal government. Militias are for civil protection against governments, and yes that includes the United States of America. You can read more about them here on Wikipedia.
Let me ask how many of you belong to a well regulated militia? How many times have other states come to your town to take over? Have you ever used your gun to defend your free state? This “right” is clearly used in the wrong context.
Now let’s move on to my own personal beliefs about the rights of Americans. This amendment has been in effect and has shaped our country for too long now to just go and say civilians who do not belong to a militia can not own firearms. Too many have guns and it has shaped our lives that we as civilians can own guns. The more and more rights we are used to having that get slowly taken away will create a huge problem. The government will continue to take and take and take. That is the one thing I do not believe is right. But I do think the laws regarding firearms should be reviewed for the current lifestyle we live in. So screw the damn debate and make new legislation that is for the protection of the people against criminals. Gun laws do not stop criminals. They help them. The debate is also over whether assault rifles should be legal. I do not think it is necessary to own an assault rifle. They should be banned. They aren’t for home protection; they are for tactical assault and should only be issued by government agencies for such. Most attacks aren’t from assault rifles except in gang/drug related instances. Most are for handguns and hunting rifles. Handguns account for 81 percent of all murders. I would hate to live in D.C and not have the ability to own a handgun in my home and let a robber come in to rape my wife and she can’t protect herself because it is illegal to own handguns in the D.C. That law was past some 32 years ago. D.C. is continuously on the top 5 murder rate cities in the country. That is not right! They should be able to have one. The law is clearly not making a dent on the crime rate there. Gun related crimes in Texas are lower (keep in mind the size of our state and the fact we have 3 major cities with over a million in population, and one very close to it) than any other state. Most states require you to attend a class, get a certificate/license and several week background checks before you can purchase a handgun. Here in Texas all you need is a driver license. You walk into a store, they will run a 20 minute background check, you sign some forms and pay. You can literally walk out the door in 30 minutes with your gun. Does the thought of how easy it is to own a handgun in Texas deter people from committing gun related crimes wondering if this person or that person might be carrying? I think it does. Not to mention we have the highest number of concealed permits here too. Just a plug, California has more cities in the US on the top 65 list of crime rate. Is it due their gun bans and “hippie” left wing mentality? I am all for peace. I would love to have no violence but I also believe in the devil and know it is not possible.
Now I am not saying we should have a complete arsenal in our house for protection. If the argument is you need a gun to protect yourself then you should be able to purchase one for that. If you want to go hunt deer or shoot birds then you should be able to purchase that. Maybe even get 2 or 3 guns for different areas of your house. I think your gun should be legal, certified, numbered and registered. I do not think you need an AR-15, a 50 caliber Desert Eagle, an M-16, an SKS, a 1911 45, 4 different gauge shotguns, a 30/30, a 30/6, a Glock tactical 9mm, and a .380 scattered throughout your house for home protection. That is BS. Get your certifications, get your concealment license, take some shooting classes and have a limit on how many guns civilians are allowed to own if you want to protect yourself. If you want to hunt, get a rifle and do it. That is what I feel. Guns deter crimes though. Look at the difference between the Virginia Tech shootings and the Appalachian School of Law Shooting. It was the difference between 32 dead because nobody was prepared and 2 dead because others went to their cars and had firearms to assist. Your 2nd Amendment isn’t to bear arms wherever you please. The amendment is if you are in a well regulated militia, your militia can provide you arms for protection of your state against governments looking to overtake your state (again this includes your own government). So stop stretching it to do whatever you please and use this right to bear arms crap. That is not what the right is, but I do think we should have the right to guns but have a limit and a use. It is time to change the laws for the people.
Here is a link to the preceedings of the Supreme Court yesterday and several great points were made. They are viewing this Amendment as an individual right to bear arms. But one justice said "I can not imagine that in those days, the father would tell the son to get his arms to go and hunt some food." The word arms is for protcetion of country. Not for protection of your house. I am on the fence here. I do not believe the amendment is valid at all. I think new legislation shoudl be written to protect the people who wish to safeguard their belongings and safehood.
WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) -- A dolphin swam up to two distressed whales that appeared headed for death in a beach stranding in New Zealand and guided them to safety, witnesses said Wednesday. The actions of the bottlenose dolphin -- named Moko by residents who said it spends much of its time swimming playfully with humans at the beach -- amazed would-be rescuers and an expert who said they were evidence of the species' friendly nature. The two pygmy sperm whales, a mother and her calf, were found stranded on Mahia Beach, about 500 kilometers (300 miles) northeast of the capital of Wellington, on Monday morning, said Conservation Department worker Malcolm Smith. Rescuers worked for more than one hour to get the whales back into the water, only to see them strand themselves four times on a sandbar slightly out to sea. It looked likely the whales would have to be euthanized to prevent them suffering a prolonged death, Smith said. "They kept getting disorientated and stranding again," said Smith, who was among the rescuers. "They obviously couldn't find their way back past (the sandbar) to the sea." Along came Moko, who approached the whales and led them 200 meters (yards) along the beach and through a channel out to the open sea. "Moko just came flying through the water and pushed in between us and the whales," Juanita Symes, another rescuer, told The Associated Press. "She got them to head toward the hill, where the channel is. It was an amazing experience. The best day of my life." Anton van Helden, a marine mammals expert at New Zealand's national museum, Te Papa Tongarewa, said the reports of Moko's rescue were "fantastic" but believable because the dolphins have "a great capacity for altruistic activities." These included evidence of dolphins protecting people lost at sea, and their playfulness with other animals. "We've seen bottlenose dolphins getting lifted up on the noses of humpback whales and getting flicked out of the water just for fun," van Helden said. "But it's the first time I've heard of an inter-species refloating technique. I think that's wonderful," said van Helden, who was not involved in the rescue but spoke afterward to Smith. Smith speculated that Moko responded after hearing the whales' distress calls. "It was looking like it was going to be a bad outcome for the whales ... then Moko just came along and fixed it," he said. "They had arched their backs and were calling to one another, but as soon as the dolphin turned up they submerged into the water and followed her." After the rescue, Moko returned to the beach and joined in games with local residents, he said.
Well Mr dolphin man, I am clapping. What a hero. What a story. I truly wish all news around the world was more like this. It may get numb but it sure is ispirational. In spire, in spirit. I wish I was there to witness such an act. Dolphins are an amazing species with huge hearts. I can not wait until the day I take a trip to New Zealand off of the western coast to a place called Milford Sound. It is just north of Fiordland National Park and is the one the most peaceful places on earth. This place has not been touched by any development and probably will never. You go here and it looks the same as it did 10,000 years ago. What is really cool though is that the hum of the motorboat brings in dozens of dolphins to play and swim with. I look forward to the trip. Here is a picture of the Fiord National Park, New Zealand.
Everybody has a yoke. It may not be the yoke of the Lord but you have one and you are wearing it. If you are weary Jesus will give you His work. Matthew 11:28, Then Jesus said, “Come to me all who are weary carrying heavy burdens. Ill give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle and you’ll find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly and the burden I give you is light.” So what’s killing you? What are you picking up that God didn’t give you? He said my yoke is easy, my burden is light. All day throughout work I notice mostly overstressed people, weary people, and exhausted folks living at an increasing breakneck pace. Neil Postman said in his book Amusing Ourselves to Death wrote that “Our culture is no longer print oriented but rather image oriented. The overload of all the information we are now getting is called info stress. You are getting so much input it is almost impossible to process it.” 100 years ago the only news we got was from an immediate family in a near a neighborhood. If something big happened in the U.S or a foreign country we wouldn’t know about it for months. What info people we got back then came in small doses. People had time to process it and handle the info. Today with satellites and instant global communication we are constantly bombarded with so much news and so many images from all over the world that as soon as it happens and are about to process it something else occurs. Jesus says come to me. He says come unto me and I will give you rest, take my yoke and you will find rest. There are 2 kinds of rest. One rest is given and one is found. The one that is given is our salvation. So if you have been saved, you have been given the rest in God. You are forgiven and should not be working for his acceptance. Jesus called this good news. You don’t have to work for anything except a living. There is another kind of rest. A rest you have to find. It’s a sense of peace and well being and comes when you know God and take his yoke upon you. In Exodus 33:13, Moses said “Lord, if I found grace in your sight show me your way that I may know you” and God said “My presence will go with you Moses and I will give you rest.” Can you take a yoke? Christ offers a yoke but you have to take it. If you receive something you must take it. It’s not passive; you reach out and take it. He said take my yoke, so it requires effort on our part. Jesus is saying, if you are tired, weary, broke, exhausted, come to me and I will give you more work. But it’s not just any work He is giving to you. It’s His work, and He says His work is easy, His burden is light…so what the heck did you pick up that is causing you to burn out, have psychiatric care and emotional due rest or be angry and upset, restless and frustrated? Unsatisfied, giving you Monday morning blues and the desire to shoot someone while driving to work or say thank God it’s Friday and I’m off. I had to learn recently that God loves me and everyone else has a plan for my life. But God’s plan is for my life and that yoke will fit me like a tailor made suit. His yoke requires you to submit to his will. It’s an analogy people. A wooden yoke put over the shoulders of plow animals. The neck in scripture has to do with the will. When God talks about rebellious people He says you’re a stiff necked. A yoke allows the plowman to turn the submitter left or right. It also goes over the shoulders to signify carrying a responsibility. So if you hear the saying he has big shoulders it’s because he carries heavy responsibility. Now when I got saved I didn’t know Jesus as provider, or comforter, or healer. But when I took on a yoke in that area I got a revelation of Him that I couldn’t get from reading a blog, or listening to a tape or hearing that sermon. God is more than sitting in the chair every Sunday. Now we hear all the time he will provide all you need and it sure sounded nice but I was uncertain and insecure. I wondered if I would have enough. I always worried about if this or that happened. But when I got into the yoke of my provider and honored Him my tithe and generosity, I got to know Him as my provider. Strange and sudden things that make you wonder and go wow. Our tiredness, fatigue and weariness come from wearing our yoke, not His. Here’s an example, John 4…the disciples and Jesus were walking thru Samaria, they are tired and hungry, it is hot. Jesus sends them into the city to get food. When they came back Jesus had already witnessed to a Samarian woman. He led her to Himself as messiah and she ran into town to tell everyone Jesus is sitting on the well. And the disciples tried to get Jesus to eat food but He wouldn’t eat anything. They are baffled! He said I have food to eat that you don’t know anything about. He said my food is to do the will of Him whom sent me. Now Jesus had a secret we could learn from. He knew if He was doing the will of God, wearing that yoke He wasn’t going to lack energy, be hungry or unsatisfied for his life. Sticking to the analogy of food and doing His father’s will, let’s examine food. Food provides 3 values, sustenance, without food you can’t endure, you get weak. Food provides strength and energy; there are low energy foods and high energy foods. Stop living a low carb lifestyle. You need a bigger dream. And finally, it provides satisfaction. Good food well presented gives everybody a great feeling. So spiritually catch what He is saying. Jesus is saying my food meaning my sustenance, my strength and satisfaction is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish that work. So your design is to be self-sustaining, self-sufficient and self-fulfilling. Zoe, my ex’s dog never had blue Mondays, “Well its Monday, I am not chase that bird or run fast in the park. I don’t feel like getting excited when you come home and I certainly don’t want to play with you. Thank God it’s Friday! I am just going to lay here and won’t even scratch a flea.” No matter what time or what day, you just call her name and she’ll go crazy tail wagging nuts. Birds don’t have bad days, worms don’t either. Worms just worm away all the time or do whatever worms do regardless of Monday or not. They just do what they are made to do. Everyday it’s a good day. Only humans come up with this crap. That’s because you aren’t in the yoke God gave you. You’ll be better at it, you’ll be fruitful. Get satisfaction and a sense of esteem and pride. You’ll want to be, you’ll grow in it. Every person has an assignment. Ask yourself if you are pursuing a divine purpose. Your satisfaction depends on it. God yokes us for a work. Make a commitment. Put on the yoke and pull your load. Even in church. Parents want their kids to clean their room, make their beds, wash the dishes, mow the lawn, wash the floors, wash the car and have all kinds of responsibility in the household family but in the spiritual family the parents don’t want to do anything. They just come to church and sit. The issue is this, has God joined you to do his yoke with someone? If God has joined you let not man tear it apart. Now I know you use that in a wedding which gets all twisted and used in understandably applicable ways but if you read it, it reads Paul speaks of a mystery, a personal revelation from Jesus, about Christ and the church. He didn’t even mention a wedding. Again it’s true about marriage, but it’s about the church. If God joins you, don’t let the flesh and don’t let men break it up. My point is that being a Christian alone won’t change the world. Being yoked to the Lord and being yoked to those He calls you to will. Different races, different cultures, different backgrounds, different sex, beliefs and denominations. God says if I am going to use you to do a great work then you have to be bigger than African American or Anglo-Saxon. You’ve got to be bigger than Baptist, Assembly of God or 7th day. God is going to yoke you with different people and if the only thing that attracts you to someone is that you like the same music or hairstyle then it is not going to work. Don’t be so intolerant. Don’t tear so easily. Have a little flexibility and open-mindedness and less judgment. If you only meet with Christians then you won’t go were Jesus went. Truth doesn’t change but styles will. Sometimes you don’t know if God has yoked you together for a while. Don’t judge a person by appearance. Listen to their words and heart to see if there is wisdom you could learn from. Sometimes we just get complacent and dull due to our ignorance and can’t touch people because of our own beliefs, ignorance about cultures, racism and world differences. 1 Corinthians 12:18, God sets every member in the body as it pleases him. Not them…Him. God does the yoking and God does the placement. You get to choose whether or not you take the yoke, He chooses where to place you. Have you ever played sports and been chosen third? Did you choose to be picked third? You don’t get to chose in God. Does the furniture tell you where be placed in the house? No, you choose to put the ashtray next to the bible. Don’t get all worked up all the time because things don’t go your way every single time. Lose some battles. Not everyone is like you. I really believe I can lower my potential if I break the joining God brings to me. So for me, I am glad you read this blog or are in my life if God has joined you to me. We will find out sooner or later when I say something to offend you (which God says will always happen. It is in the bible read it) and then we will find out if God joined you to me or not. He says that he will send storms to wash out which is not meant to be in the body. So if you aren’t joined by God then we will see how long you stay. So point again is that God has a yoke for you and it will be a much better life if you choose to take it. I am done rambling now. Thanks,
